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Monday, June 21, 2010

Metropolitan Opera Announces 2010 'Vuvuzela Initiative.'

The Metropolitan Opera has announced that the vuvuzela, the plastic B♭ horns that are a prevailing feature of the FIFA World Cup will be 'employed extensively' in the coming 2010 opera season.

Other instruments, such as the kuduzela, will be added for forthcoming operas including Don Pasquale and Die Walküre.

'The vuvuzela is light, easy to carry, and easy to clean and maintain,' a representative said. 'By handing them to members of our audience, we allow them to be part of the orchestral experience'.

Audience members who want to contribute to the vuvuzela drone at the opera house will only be able to do so from the Met's parterre seats. 'We know the people in our more reasonably priced seats want to join in the fun of adding the texture of vuvuzelas to the great works of Mozart, Verdi, and Wagner. But if they can't afford to toot, no one will give a hoot.'

The opera company sees the vuvuzela as a perfectly valid replacement for the French Horns, ongoing negotiations with certain Chinese manufacturers may lead to the production of slide vuvuzelas for the trombonists, a giant bass vuvuzela for the tuba players, and smaller models for the woodwinds. All will play in B♭.

'We just can't afford brass players,' the representative continued. 'The vuvuzela produces a round, beautiful tone that suits our orchestra's profile. And at 120 decibels per blast, the cost-for-volume benefits speak for themselves.'

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Since 2007, Superconductor has grown from an occasional concert or CD review to a near-daily publication covering classical music, opera and the arts in and around NYC, with excursions to Boston, Philadelphia, and upstate NY. I am a freelance writer living and working in Brooklyn NY. And no, I'm not a conductor.