Götterdämmerung It

When Wagner meets Def Leppard.

It's hysteria, I tells ya. Original art elements © 1987 Def Leppard/Phonogram Records
Photo of Ms. Voigt by Brigitte Lacombe © 2011 The Metropolitan Opera.

This morning, I was thinking about the unlikely confluence of Richard Wagner and...Def Leppard. So without further ado, here's a parody of Def Leppard's 1987 pop-metal classic "Armageddon It", re-written as a playful plot synopsis of Wagner's Götterdämmerung, which has its premiere tonight at the Metropolitan Opera. Enjoy.

"Götterdämmerung It", a parody of "Armageddon It" by Def Leppard.
Parody lyrics by Paul Pelkonen © 2012 Paul Pelkonen.
Original song written by Def Leppard and Robert 'Mutt' Lange © 1987 Bludgeon Riffola/Phonogram Music.

Ya better take this Ring 'cos I'm going now
Gonna kick some butt down by the Rhine
We'll sing a full-volume "Heil" when I'm heading out
And then you give me back your noble Grane

You got it? It's Götterdämmerung.

You say that Siegfried soon will be comin' here
And you know that Hagen's got a big plan

You know ya can't stop it,
So don't knock it,
You know we'll get it.

Hey it's Götterdämmerung.
Götterdämmerung.
Cos he'll bring us the Ring.

Give him that memory potion (every little bit)
Make him drink every drop (every bit of it)
Then we'll slip him the notion (oh c'mon live a bit)
That your sister is hot.

Yeah but are you Nibelung? It's Götterdämmerung.
Son of Nibelung? Yes Götterdämmerung.

We're gonna go up there with the Tarnhelm
And switch places so she won't know who's who
And then I'll kidnap her and you'll marry her
and have a big wedding hullabaloo.

You got it? It's Götterdämmerung.

But when she figure it out she'll be mad as heck
And then she'll plan to have him stabbed in the back

You know ya can't stop it.
So don't knock it.
You know he'll get it

Hey it's Götterdämmerung.
Götterdämmerung.
Cos I'll wind up with the Ring.

[Repeat Bridge]
[Repeat Chorus]

C'mon, Hagen, get 'im!

[Steer-horn solo]

Give me, give me give me the Ring
Because if I don't get it, Dad won't let me sleep
Pull it, pull it pull it off his dead hand
'cos this was my whole stupid plan
('cos this was my whole stipid plan!)

Is the opera done? It's Götterdämmerung
Yeah it's almost done, it's Götterdämmerung.
Oh crap now she's got the Ring.

Pile up all of those logs now--every little bit
Put Siegfried on the pyre--every bit of it
And I'll take back the Ring now--cos I'm keepin git
Ride my horse through the fire--Oh it's Götterdämmerung.

Fly ravens to Valhalla--and tell Wotan it's
Time to light his own pyre--every bit of it
Time to burn down the castle--what a silly git
See the flames leaping higher--whoa hot isn't it?

See Hagen swimming--get a hold of the Ring now.
See Hagen drowning--Rhinemaidens pulled him down
See river flooding--this all happens so fast now
See world is ending--It only took six hours.

Sie auch sein mögen Riesen!

"Beckmesser Man", a Parody.
(with apologies to Richard Wagner, John Flansburgh and John Linnell.)
 This post is for my good friend Kelly Rach.

Hans Sachs (Franz Hawlata, seated) tells great composers about this awesome parody.
Image from the 2009 Bayreuth staging of Die Meistersinger von Nürnberg. © Bayreuth Festival/Opus Arte.

A totally unauthorized parody of "Particle Man" by
Brooklyn's own They Might Be Giants.
Original song released on the album Flood.
Original copyright @ 1990, property of Elektra Records.

Beckmesser man, Beckmesser man.
Beckmesser man hates noble man.
For the song contest, he has a plan.
Beckmesser man.

David man, Apprentice man,
David man sees Beckmesser man.
Hits him on the head with a garbage can,
Night-watch man.


Hans Sachs man, Hans Sachs man,
Sings about the world's wahn, man
Slaps David with his left hand,
Journey-man.

Cobbler man, Tailor man,
Big chorus sung for Hans Sachs Man
Wachet auf! Then the cobbler's plan
Deutschen mann.

Contestant man, Contestant man,
Walther von Stolzing's got a plan.
Get up and sing, with the bride he ran,
Ausgang mann.