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Friday, April 15, 2011

#OperaPlot Until You Plotz

"I'm out. I'm out of the contest!"--Cosmo Kramer
The original "omniscient mussel" from
Richard Strauss' Die ägyptische Helene.
Poster art by Rafal Olbinski © Patinae.com.

Over on Twitter, The Omniscient Mussel is holding the second annual #operaplot contest. Hopefuls (like myself) are allowed a maximum of 25 entries in the annual "do." So I decided (just for fun and in the interests of disclosure) to run a little contest of my own.

Here's my list of 25 submissions to this year's contest, from my own Twitter account.k

Dear readers, feel free to comment and guess as many of the operas as you can. The reader who gets the most right might get something nice sent to them from the Superconductor grab bag.

Here's the list. You have til 12am Friday April 22. Eastern Standard Time.

Answers will be posted in a week.

1) Peter the Great climbs the perch. Selling anti-Streltsy merch. Mother Russia's in the lurch. Time to go and burn a church. #operaplot
1 hour ago

2) Maybe I should make that deal with Samiel. The last magic bullet might hit that guy who arrived on the ghost ship last night. #operaplot
1 hour ago

3) It's not a bad life. Have hot wild sex in a cave: win a no-frills round-trip package to Italy complete with tour of the Vatican #operaplot
1 hour ago

4) Mo-mo-mo-Moses, supposes, Jehoveses, he knowses, but Moses, supposes, Aron-eously. #operaplot
11 hours ago

5) In the depths of a river, three mermaids did flit, singing "Weia-la-weia-la-weia." A dwarf hit upon them, they'd have none of it. #operaplot
20 hours ago

6) Vasco, Vasco, Vasco da Gama, brave as he could be. Vasco, Vasco , Vasco da Gama, watch out for that tree! #operaplot
14 Apr

7) Crazy Middle East despot sings love song to tree, builds bridge to nowhere with government money. #Operaplot
7 hours ago

8) Whisk flour, salt in bowl. Cut in cold shortening.Toss with fork. Roll dough flat. Put in pie plate. Add children. Bake. #operaplot
15 hours ago

9) On top of a mountain, where sheep graze the lee, 'twas once a poor maiden, And now she's a tree. #operaplot
18 hours ago

10) I love you. I believe you. I'll marry you. Have a glass of water.#operaplot.
18 hours ago

11) Cistern Christian oh your time has come. And I know that you're the only one to say....Auuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!#operaplot
18 hours ago

12) The fish are in the pot. He's sleeping on a cot. He'd like to have a tot. But married bliss there's not. These rhyme with #operaplot.
20 hours ago

13) I get knocked down. I get up again. And then I think I'm gonna drown. #operaplot
20 hours ago

14) I'm spending all my time watching Fox. And if I see Fox, I'll shoot it. #operaplot
20 hours ago

15) Ethiopia invaded: Egyptian army captures military strongman--cites "pyramid power." #operaplot
20 hours ago

16) Breaking News: Operation: Haircut fallout: Thousands of Dagon Faithful Killed in Freak Temple Collapse. #operaplot
21 hours ago

17) Up Scheldt creek without a paddle. Or a swan. #operaplot
22 hours ago

18) To-do list: 1. Go to church. 2. Annoy tax collector. 3. Fix shoes. 4. Slap apprentice. 5. Beer und pretzels mit mein homies. #operaplot
22 hours ago

19) Figgy played guitar. Then he dressed up his boss, for some Pace Goia. While they're housebreakin' the ladder was tak'n. #operaplot
13 Apr

20) Stan: Join me on fiesta deck for cocktails. We can discuss Ireland-Cornwall tax problems and knock back a few. XOX- Izzy#operaplot
13 Apr

21) Could you maybe pull out the sword and not sing loudly while doing it? My husband's trying to sleep. #operaplot
13 Apr

22) Oh how I hate to get up in the morning. Oh how I hate to come out and drink. Cos the tenor's waiting there. To stab my derry-air.#operaplot
13 Apr

23) Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping? Hagen son? Hagen son? Time to kill the hero. Stab him back to zero. Ring is won. Ring is won.#operaplot
13 Apr

24) Thr 1ce ws a grl nmd Kundry She rde for the knites 4 thr sundries Thn alng cm a fool Sh tht h ws cool. Bt died rt b4 Easter Snday#operaplot
13 Apr

25) Julie: Mt me @ Father Larry's 4 wdng XOX--Romez #operaplot.
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Critical Thinking in the Cheap Seats

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Since 2007, Superconductor has grown from an occasional concert or CD review to a near-daily publication covering classical music, opera and the arts in and around NYC, with excursions to Boston, Philadelphia, and upstate NY. I am a freelance writer living and working in Brooklyn NY. And no, I'm not a conductor.